Why You're Still Stuck: The 5 IEMT Patterns of Chronicity Explained

20 Feb

Five ways the mind defends a problem against change

Have you ever done all the things? Therapy, journalling, self-help books, the podcast rabbit holes at 11pm... and still felt like the same old patterns were running the show? Like something inside you was quietly, stubbornly holding the problem in place?

If that sounds familiar, you're in good company. And there's actually a really elegant explanation for why this happens, one that comes from a therapy model called Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT).

Rather than asking "what happened to you?" or endlessly measuring how bad the problem still feels, IEMT asks a different question entirely: what is stopping this from changing? That shift in focus is where something called the 5 Patterns of Chronicity comes in. These are five unconscious ways the mind defends a problem against change, not out of stubbornness, but because the mind is doing exactly what it was designed to do. And sometimes, change, even the good kind, can feel like a threat to who we believe we are.

Let's walk through them. And I'll warn you now: at least one of these is going to feel uncomfortably relatable.

1. The Three-Stage Overreaction

You know that moment in a session or a difficult conversation where someone gently suggests that things could look a bit different and suddenly the temperature in the room drops about fifteen degrees?

There's an escalation. Tears, or anger, or a very pointed silence that communicates, "I wouldn't go there if I were you."

This is the Three-Stage Overreaction. It's an emotional escalation pattern that functions, unconsciously, to stop change from happening. Not to manipulate anyone (well, not consciously), but to make the emotional cost of challenging things feel too high. The unspoken message is essentially: "You really don't want to push this."

And here's the thing, it works. The challenge gets backed off. The status quo is preserved. Nothing changes.

The nervous system has learned that this keeps things safe. And while it's doing a great job of that, it's also very quietly keeping the person stuck exactly where they are. It's like hiring an extremely enthusiastic bodyguard to protect a house that doesn't actually need protecting anymore.

2. The Great Big What-If Question

Oh, this one is clever. I genuinely respect its audacity.

You're making progress. Something is starting to shift. A new way of seeing things is taking shape. And then, right on cue, comes the hypothetical:

"Yes, but what if it happened like THIS? That's completely different, right? That would mean this whole approach doesn't apply to me."

The Great Big What-If uses one carefully constructed exception to dismantle any progress that threatens the existing belief system. It's the mental equivalent of building a solid wall and then watching someone produce a single obscure brick that supposedly means the whole wall doesn't count.

The exception is rarely a real exception. It's a thought experiment. Its job is to restore the comfort of the old way of thinking before the new one has a chance to take hold.

When I see this pattern, I know something important is being protected. And understanding what is being protected is where things get interesting.

3. The Maybe Man

"Well... I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. It might be anxiety, or possibly it's stress, or it could be something else entirely. I think it probably bothers me, but I couldn't say for certain. Maybe. Possibly. Sort of."

The Maybe Man lives in a permanent, comfortable fog of uncertainty.

Now, if you're reading this thinking "but that IS how I feel, I genuinely can't tell," I hear you. And I'm not suggesting you're doing it on purpose. This is unconscious. But the function of this pattern is to keep everything at a safe distance by never committing to a specific experience.

If nothing is ever named, there's nothing to engage with. No clear target. No real progress. And more importantly, no risk of discovering something uncomfortable about who you are in relation to the problem.

The vagueness isn't laziness. It's protection. The fog is doing a job. And gently, precisely, lifting it is one of the more fascinating parts of IEMT work.

4. Testing for the Problem Instead of for Change

This one breaks my heart a little, if I'm honest.

Imagine someone who's been working hard. Their sleep is better. They're doing things they avoided before. Their relationships feel warmer. Objectively, measurably, things are changing.

And yet when you ask how they're doing, the answer is: "I still felt anxious on Tuesday, so it's clearly not working."

This pattern fixes attention entirely on what's still wrong, which means that genuine, real progress becomes invisible. The measuring stick only measures the remainder of the problem, not the 80% that's already shifted.

It's like going on a long journey, covering hundreds of miles, and declaring the trip a failure because you haven't arrived yet.

In IEMT, we work to redirect attention toward the rate of change, toward the growing gaps between difficult moments, the things that used to trigger you that now just... don't. Because if your measuring system only looks for proof the problem still exists, that's exactly what it will find. Every time.

5. Being at Effect Rather Than at Cause

Being "at effect" means experiencing yourself as entirely subject to what happens to you, as if the problem lives outside you and someone else holds the key to fixing it. "The therapist needs to make this better. The world needs to change first. There's nothing I can do."

Here's where I need to be very clear: some people have absolutely been subjected to things entirely beyond their control. Trauma, injustice, harm. Telling someone in that position to "just take responsibility" would be not only unhelpful but genuinely harmful. That is not what this pattern is about.

What IEMT is describing here is a generalised posture toward one's own experience, a habitual outsourcing of agency that makes internal change feel impossible before it's even tried. When someone is locked into this pattern, the door to genuine change isn't just closed. It's been bricked over from the inside.

And working with this pattern carefully, without blame, is where some of the most profound shifts can happen.

So What Does This Mean for You?

None of these patterns are character flaws. They are not signs you are difficult, or resistant, or secretly don't want to get better. They are deeply human, extraordinarily intelligent ways that the mind protects an identity that feels threatened by the prospect of change.

Even wonderful, wanted, long overdue change.

Understanding these patterns is what makes IEMT different. Instead of wondering why nothing is working, or adding yet another coping tool to the pile, we can look at the structure that's keeping the problem in place and work with it directly. Precisely. Often faster than people expect.

If you've been stuck for a long time, if you've done everything right and still can't shake it, there's a very good chance one of these patterns is quietly running the show in the background.

Recognising it is the beginning of something actually different.