The Overthinker's Guide to Thinking About Thinking

26 Feb

Most people think they have "a mind." If you're an overthinker, you know better. You have a Committee. Let's meet the regulars…

The house is silent.
The world is asleep.

But inside your head? It's T in the Park circa 2007. A 24 hour festival of What Ifs, WTFs and Why Did I Say That.

You're lying in bed arguing with someone who isn't there about something that hasn't happened.

And somehow?

You're still losing.

To yourself.

You think about thinking.
Then you think about the fact you're thinking.
Then you start wondering if thinking about thinking about thinking is a sign you should be gently supervised.

Welcome to Your Brain's Internal Committee

Most people think they have "a mind." If you're an overthinker, you know better. You have a Committee. Let's meet the regulars:

The Analyst
Will create a 14 point pros and cons list about switching washing powder. Wants evidence. Wants data. Wants you to wait three weeks before committing to Fairy Non-Bio.

The Historian
Keeps a 4K Ultra HD archive of every awkward moment since Primary 3. Appears at the most inconvenient times.
"Remember when you waved back at someone who wasn't waving at you”

The Catastrophist
Is convinced that being "left on read" is a clear sign you should probably move to a new country and change your name.

The Illusion of Productivity

Here's the thing though, overthinking makes you feel like you're doing something productive.

You're not just sitting there passively worrying. You're analysing! You're problem solving! You're being thorough! Except, let's be honest, you're not actually solving anything.

You're just turning the same thoughts over and over like a rotisserie chicken, hoping that the 47th rotation will suddenly reveal some juicy bit of clarity the first 46 didn't.

This is the overthinker's trap. The thinking feels like progress. It feels like if you just think about it a bit more, you'll finally be safe.

You won't.

The "Safety" Trap

Your brain thinks it's being helpful.

Your nervous system is basically an overzealous steward at Hampden Park. He's just doing his job, but he's obsessed with rules you didn't know existed. He's the voice in your head shouting:

"No standing there. No sitting there. No enjoying yourself until it’s 100% secure'."

He means well. He's trying to keep you safe. But he's treating a perfectly normal Tuesday like the security threat level is severe.

The Three Flavours of "The Spin"

To stop the cycle, you have to recognise which brand of overthinking your brain is currently obsessed with:

1. The Time Traveller
You're stuck in the past (rumination) or sprinting into the future (anxiety). You're everywhere except right here, where your tea is getting cold.

2. The Scriptwriter
You are writing dialogue for people who aren't in the room.
"If she says X, I'll say Y, then she'll realise Z..."
However, she will say Q and your entire script goes in the bin.

3. The Autopsy
Taking a perfectly normal social interaction and dissecting it until it's unrecognisable.
"Did I say 'hi' to the Barista too loudly? They nodded slowly…. do they think I'm a loud weirdo who can’t order coffee right?"

Why Thinking Won't Solve Thinking

We think that by understanding our anxiety, it will go away. We try to "reason" with a panic attack. But you can't use logic to talk down a nervous system that's already decided the building is on fire.

Your logical brain is trying to write a polite letter to your subconscious, while your subconscious is in the basement screaming, "ABORT MISSION! EVERYONE HATES US!"

Calm down Gollum. Its’s just a late reply.

This issue is they are not speaking the same language.

What Helps

You can't think your way out of a overthinking problem. I know. The irony is almost painful.

Your brain has learned that thinking = safety. That if you can just analyse it thoroughly enough, consider every angle, plan for every outcome, anticipate what could go wrong, you'll finally feel okay.

But that's like trying to put out a fire with petrol. You're using the exact thing that's causing the problem to try and solve it.

The overthinking isn't happening because you haven't thought about it enough. It's happening because your nervous system genuinely believes that uncertainty is dangerous and thinking is the only way to stay safe.

That belief doesn't live in your logical mind where you can reason with it. It lives in your automatic responses. The ones that kick in before you've even registered what's happening.

Which is why Integral Eye Movement Therapy and Hypnotherapy work when endless analysis doesn't. We're not trying to give you better thoughts or more insight. We're updating the pattern at the level where it actually runs, in your subconscious and nervous system.

We're teaching your overzealous Hampden steward that he can clock off occasionally. That you're allowed to not know something without it being a threat. That uncertainty is just... life.

The Goal Isn't To Stop Thinking

The goal isn't to turn you into someone who doesn't think carefully about things.

You're intelligent. You're analytical. Those are strengths. The thinking itself isn't the problem.

The problem is the compulsive, repetitive, exhausting thinking that doesn't actually help you make better decisions or feel better or move forward. The analysis paralysis. The mental arguments with people who aren't there. The 47 rotations of the same thought hoping for different results.

The goal is to keep the helpful thinking and lose the anxious spinning. To be able to consider something thoughtfully without getting stuck in loops. To think something through once, properly and then move forward.

The Bottom Line

You are not your thoughts. You are the person hearing the thoughts.

The next time your brain throws an all night festival you didn't buy tickets for, just remember the band isn't even that good and its the same set list that’s been playing on repeat for years.

Let's get you some peace and quiet instead.